Enteng Kabisote and the Traditional Christmas Bashing

Now that Christmas Day has come and gone and that we are just savoring the remaining days of the season, allow me to give a nasty killjoy statement.

Christmas Day is the time when the most predictable things happen… the more fortunate ones get the usual hams, queso de bola and calendars… everybody seems to wear the best clothes… street urchins appear out of nowhere and haunt motorists for ‘money to buy food.’

And as trite and as predictable as the staple of the yearly MMFF offering, Enteng Kabisote, is the usual Christmas homily, where parishioners are given a healthy bashing of the ‘consumerist’, ‘commecialized’ Christmas.  Jolly Ol’ St. Nick is once again the condemned thief who stole Christmas, and that people should focus on the real meaning of the season, instead of gorging on the catered meal.

The funny thing is, the parishioners do not seem to notice much at all.  All they want is to get the Mass over with so they could spend the whole day partying.   Perhaps homilists have learned much the same as Vic Sotto had with the Enteng Kabisote plot – rehashing the same old thing year–in and year–out is practical in the long run.  Paskong–pasko, bakit pa mag–iisip ng iba, o di ba?

Ironically, most of us who are so good in the traditional consumerist Christmas bashing, are so eager to get our hands on the lechon, hamon, and everything served on the table.  Yup, count me in on that one.

But seriously, next year, I hope to spend Christmas differently.  I am planning to go on a spiritual retreat where Christmas Day would be spent in prayerful silence and solitude, away from the noise, revelry, lechon and hamon, Enteng Kabisote and the traditional consumerist Christmas bashing.

Dalaw ni GMA

Isang istorya ng DALAW ni GMA!!!

Lucifer: Hello GMA, malapit na ang pasko, napadalaw ako dahil ipinaaala-ala ko sayo na isasama na kita sa aking kaharian!!

GMA: Naku paano yan, hinde pa ako handa eh, marami pa akong gagawin

Lucifer: eh wala akong magagawa kasi numero uno ka sa aking listahan

GMA: Ganun? okay, bago mo ako isama ay halika muna at tayo ay magmiryenda

Lucifer: O, sige, tutal malapit na ang pasko ay pagbibigyan kita.

At nagmiryenda nga ang mag-amo. Nguni't di alam ni Lucifer na nilagyan ni GMA ng maraming sleeping pills ang pagkain ni Lucif at nakatulog ng mahimbing si Lucifer.  Sinamantala naman ni GMA ang pagkakataon at kinuha niya ang listahan ni Lucif, kaagad binura ang kanyang pangalan sa unahan at inilagay sa hulihan ng listahan. 

Maya-maya ay nagising na si Lucifer.

Lucifer: Hayyyy, nakatulog pala ako. GMA, nabatid ko na isa ka palang mabait (kuno) ay napag-isip-isip ko na ang uunahin kong kunin ay iyong nakatala sa hulihan ng aking listahan........!

A Good Example of Humility

Manila, Philippines – A Catholic Church prelate criticized President Benigno S. Aquino III for not appearing at the installation of Manila Archbishop Luis Antonio ‘Chito’ G. Tagle yesterday. Lipa (Batangas) Archbishop Ramon Arguelles said the absence of Aquino showed his lack of respect for the Church.

‘Of all our Presidents, he is the only one who didn’t show respect for the Church,’ Arguelles said. ‘It’s very conspicuous, the absence of the President for the first time in the history of the Philippines,’ added Arguelles.

‘The President SHOULD have reset the date of the turnover rites for the new chief of staff of the Armed Forces of the Philippines Lt. Gen. Jessie D. Dellosa if he really wants to attend the event.   This is an international event, the AFP can be reset tomorrow.  He is really not interested in attending,’ he said. (Leslie Ann G. Aquino, Tempo December 13, 2011)

Now that was a good example of humility on the part of our good bishop, don't you think? 

Ok, I was being sarcastic hehehehe!  So this speaks of the Church' powerful political position in our society.

Reaction to a Homily

Just this morning, I heard the most ridiculous homily so far.

Reflecting on a reading lifted from the Book of Maccabees, the preacher talked about his fear of the Church being persecuted because of – ad nauseaum – the RH Bill.  He even quoted a certain ‘Mr. Acosta’ a speaker in their recently–held retreat on that sickeningly worn–out subject matter, that Church people could even get jailed for their faith, once the bill turns into a law.

HELLO??!!!

As far as I remember, the Church, with its sheer arrogance and vast temporal powers, is a major political, I repeat, POLITICAL force in this country.  Wasn’t it largely responsible for throwing off Ferdinand Marcos from power?  Didn’t it have a hand in demonizing Joseph Estrada as a womanizer, gambler and cheat?  Who on earth was responsible in issuing veiled threats of excommunication on Noynoy Aquino?

The Church, in my vocabulary, has had a record of persecuting people throughout history.   Here in the Philippines alone, many were deported to Dapitan because of their differing views, and it was not just Jose Rizal.  In my home province of Malolos, Bulacan, at the latter part of te 19^th Century, several young women were persecuted by the local diocese because they defied the order of the friars not to study the Spanish language. 

Besides, if ever the persecution would happen, and that is as remote as putting the sun into a bucket of water, I would not be surprised if hoards of bishops, clerics and religious would be booking flights to countries abroad, similar to what the Arroyos did a few days back.  What with all the money stashed in their fat bank accounts.

I guess the preacher was watching so many sordid telenovelas that such a preposterous thought came to his mind.  Afraid of the Church' ghost perhaps? Maybe he needs to pray a lot for enlightenment.

So there.

PS.  The more I hear tirades against the RH Bill, the more I pray for it to be passed.  I hate the Church’ arrogance for power.

Signs That You're Watching A Pinoy Movie

1. Sasayaw sa likod ng puno ng buko pag nasa beach yung scene. Alternate pa 'yung mga ulo nila.

2. 'Yung kontrabida yayakap sa bida, sabay taas ng kilay at ngingisi.

3. Uuwi ang bida na may dalang pancit sa kanyang nanay na si Anita Linda. Tatawagin nito ang mga bata para kumain, at kakamustahin ng bida ang pag-aaral habang kumakain ng pancit. Biglang may titigil na sasakyan sa harap ng bahay at pauulanan ng baril ang pamilya! Mamamatay si Anita Linda, at sisigaw ang bida ng "Inaaay!" at mangangakong ipaghihiganti ito. Moral lesson: Ang pansit nagdadala ng malas - nakakamatay.

4. Pag may magkaribal na babae, yung mabait deretcho ang buhok at may bangs. Yung salbahe, laging kulot.

5. Sa Pinoy action movies, ang bida hindi nauubusan ng bala.

6. Sa Pinoy action movies, kapag tumakbo ang bida, sa lupa lahat ang tama ng bala ng kalaban.

7. Kapag may angry mob na pupunta sa bahay-kubo ng manananggal, si Vangie Labalan ang laging lider.

8. Alam mong moment of truth na ng bida kapag sinabi na niya 'yung title ng pelikula.

9. Ang tawag ng kontrabida sa mga goons niya, "Mga bata."

10. 'Yung nakababatang kapatid ng bida habang naglalaro ng bola, mabibitawan at mapupunta sa gitna ng kalsada. Tapos may darating na sasakyan, tapos itutulak siya ng bida. 'Yung bida naman ang nasa gita ng kalsada. Biglang may sasakyang darating. Ang bida, ico-cross lang niya arms niya covering his face tapos sisigaw 'yung kapatid ng 'kuyaaa!' ... Next scene nasa ospital na sila. Simula na ng drama.

11. Kapag bakbakan, hindi nasasaktan ang bida, pero umaaray siya pag ginagamot na siya ng leading lady, at kasunod na ang love scene.

12. Kapag sinabi ng kontrabida ang masama niyang plano sa bida, ang sasabihin ng bida: "hayop ka!"

13. Ang bidang babae, pag katulong ang role, siguradong magiging anak ng amo niya sa ending.

14. Ang nanay ng mayaman laging may pamaypay na pangmayaman, at ang nanay ng mahirap laging naka duster.

15. Ang hideout ng kontrabida, parating mansion na may chicks sa pool.

16. Ang mga bida sa drama, pag nakatanggap ng masamang balita, laging may pinto sa likod nila para puwede silang sumandal habang nagi-slide dahan-dahan pababa, tapos todo iyak with matching uhog.

17. Pag di nahuli ng mga goons ang bida, sasabihin ng boss sa kanila, "Mga inutil!"

18. Laging nakakapulot ng baril na may bala ang bida kapag kinakailangan niya.

19. Laging mas maganda ang yayang bida kesa sa kontrabidang anak ng amo niya.

20. Pag ang ending ng movie ay song and dance number sa beach o resort, ang huling frame, tatalon ang buong cast… sabay freeze.

21. Sasabihin ng sidekick ng bida na nawawala ung leading lady at icoconclude nila agad adad na kinidnap ng kalaban at nasa warehouse sya palagi.. (Pano kung umuwi lang pala ng province)

Drastic Action

Something I picked up somewhere... shocking....  and they say we do not need to educate people or provide them with the right services...sheesh!

By the way, another (indigent) mother died in the ER today after her uterus got ripped apart by her 9th baby. If I could only take pictures to show you guys that she was only accompanied by 3 of her children. One 12 year old, the rest 3 and 2 respectively. Her husband was "wala dinhi" apparently. 5 hours after, her eldest child, a 15 year old came with an Uncle in tow to claim the body sa morgue.

There was also yesterday, a mother of 15 children, her 12th child, a daughter aged 16 was rushed in our ER. unfortunately, because of lack of funds, they hired a local midwife at the start of the child's labor. Believe me, the midwife had LONG fingernails and was dirty from head to foot. Said 12th child died because of septicemia because the 16 year old labored for 3 days BEFORE the mother decided to rush her daughter to our hospital.

Tapos sa DR, na cesarean mother in hopes of saving the baby. The fetus (can't call it baby anymore) was literally BLACK and with FLAKING skin. Parang lechon de leche na nasunog. Yung discharges and pus weren't green but DEEP brown.

Sad to say, these deaths will be added to our record of maternal deaths.

I just came home from work and I left the ER with 3 mothers from the indigent sector. One was experiencing vaginal spotting in the 3rd trimester of her 5th term pregnancy. I'm saying term because she got pregnant 9 times, 4 of which abortion/stillbirths

Another one has YELLOW discharges in the last week of her pregnancy. I'm expecting the baby inside, her 4th one, is suffering from some sort of blood disorder. OB doctor presume that the uterus was malnourished because the 4th baby was conceived when the 3rd baby was just 7 months old. A woman must have a year and a half rest between pregnancies.

The third mother got pregnant 3 times. 2 pregnancies producing twins. This 3rd pregnancy she is having complications. OB doctor wants to do CS unfortunately, the family can't afford it. It's a matter of vaginal laceration OR uterine rupture for her if the CS won't push through.

And finally, just to add, a mother bought 2 of her children (she has 8 btw) because they developed primary gohn complex! At the tender age of 8 and 5, may TB na ang mga bata.